Things That Make Me Ugly.

-I gots hyperhidrosis which means I have hyperactive sweat glands which makes me gross to touch.
-I have an ugly sneeze, that's why no one blesses me.
-My hands look like a bunch of bananas.
-One nostril is bigger than the other.
-I have stretch marks on my knees and my shoulders.
-I have ugly ass Jew hair when my hair is short.
-I am one dark mother father.
-My sister says I look like a rat cause my ears are weird.
-I look like a retard when I run.
-My handwriting is horrible. Like when I saw my classwork from elementary, I swear my handwriting was way better before.
-My voice is very ugly when I talk like I need some water or something.
-My smile is crooked.
-When I chew gum, it looks like I don't know how to chew it.
-My laugh sounds like a fat lady's laugh.
-I am ugly in general.
-When I'm faded, I talk like a retard.
-My legs look like pedophile legs.
-I look ugliest from the side so please just look at me face to face.
-Two words: Man Tits.
-My armpits look like ugly ass vaginas cause I recently started growing pit pubes.
-I am uncool.

Dear reader,

I hope you are still my friend even though I am very ugly like a monster. Please teach me how to be attractive like you. Thank you and have a nice day.